Reveal to me The Mind of Mr. Doctor
by Henry Leirvoll
I am a virgin, I have not yet penetrated Music. Like an ignorant child, I thought I had long ago; but it was proven to me that I was wrong.
I have since been allowed to touch the flesh of music and art, but still nothing more than a touch. Maybe a slight caress, but that is all.
I still catch myself trying to steal but a moment of it. To try and see through the veil that I now so clearly see covers my face.
Like a child loves his mother, I still remain ignorant.
I honestly thought, if nothing else, that I had at least a certain grip on music; what it means, and what it can do. I have always known that I am not a scholar as far as the subject is concerned, and that there are many aspects of music, and art, that I do not understand.
But I know what I feel, what I can feel.
When I first heard Devil Doll, I truly did feel like a child. I heard things I recognised, things that I definitely reacted to. I enjoyed what I heard, and as I investigated further I found that it impressed me only more and more. Yet, I did not understand: What was this work appearing before me?
I know there are still so many aspects that I do not comprehend, but I want to learn!
Mr. Doctor took my hand and told me that I had every reason to be afraid. He told me that I should be in awe, and that I must continue.
I usually donāt like to be led anywhere, but I had to follow this.
A new dimension is much too small a world to describe it, but something new was appearing before me. I had a revelation, that is the only way I can even dare to try and describe it.
Barriers crumbled, and windows shattered. What I had only been able to shimmer before, now surrounds me, and cut my flesh! I can see beyond the walls that blackened me, and I am able to touch, and caress the being, the scary, yet so fragile and pitiable thing of which I have no word to describe.
I can cry when I touch it, or I can cower from fear, but I can never laugh. There exist no happy thoughts in here, as is the only love to be.
He is alone over there. As I look around, I see many a soul trying to comprehend, they all, as I, stare at this thing; this man. None of us can reach him but several try. Stretching out their hands, I find they do the very thing I did on my first trip to this place, and still do every time I am allowed to visit, they weep.
I fear, and I revere. I am in awe.
Today whenever I sit down to listen to Devil Doll, I find it very hard to stop. When I first have started an album, I feel guilty if I stop it and cursed if I skip a track or index. If I do, I surely know, in my mind, that I will most definitely miss the point.